The Bizarrity of one Harry Potter's Life
by DerangedxandxSarcastic
Summary: Harry's life has turned very bizarre lately... well more so then usual. Pansy is dressed in Gryffindor colours, Professor Snape is giving points to Harry, and Draco can't take his eyes off the poor saviour. And that's just the Slytherins!


A/N this is the second in my prompt war with Moretta, the first prompt I've written. I hope you like!

**Prompts:**  
**1. The sentence :"Do you like donkeys?"**  
**2. The words: love, musicality, majour assege and dragon**  
**3. Ron hugging Pansy **

The Bizarrity of one Harry Potter's Life

Staring at the lake for hours on end really could get dull. It was Harry's place to escape the screaming fans and all, but man was it ever dull. He blew his fringe out of his eyes and leaned back to crack his back.

He glanced down at his watch and saw that it was the almost the end of dinner, the Great Hall would be almost empty. It was time for him to go eat. Harry's world had gone so bizarre lately, his two best friends had gone crazy, he could have sworn. Pansy Parkinson seemed to have developed a weird affiliation with Gryffindor colours and could be seen wearing a red and gold scarf all over the place. Harry's random fan girls seemed to have decided that he was so much more desirable with a new giant scar over his right eye. (Courtesy of Voldemort). Hermione had taken up playing the flute, badly he might add. And Draco Malfoy didn't seem to be able to take his eyes off of him.

Harry had taken to avoiding the Great Hall when there was anyone else there. He was stuck taking baths in the middle of the night to avoid being accosted by random fan girls, and boys, he had never met. Also he had almost had a heart attack in potions the other day when Professor Snape had given him two hundred points for an incredibly half-assed potion.

The Hufflepuff's were way overly lovey to him, they would laugh loudly at everything he said and would jump to do anything he wanted, even if he didn't ask them! The Ravenclaws were randomly doing his homework, without telling him and then would give it to him right before class.

He entered the Great Hall with his head bowed and the first person to say anything to him was Colin Creevy, "Do you like donkeys?"

"What?"

"Do you like donkeys Harry? I was wondering because I'm making a collage for you but I wanted to make it in the form of your favourite animal. But then I remembered that I don't know what that is… sooooo, I thought it over and turns out the only animal I can make a decent collage of is a donkey… so do you like donkeys?" The short boy said all this in roughly the space of thirty seconds and it took Harry about five minutes for it to all register.

"Ummm, sure Colin, I love donkeys, can't wait to see the collage," Harry finished with false enthusiasm. He had discovered long ago that the best way to get rid of his fans was to tell then what they wanted to hear, except of course if they asked him out. Which a large portion of them did.

"Coolio! I'll finish it as fast as I can Harry!" The sixth year boy yelled after him as he practically sprinted to his spot at the Gryffindor table. Harry stopped after a couple steps, the Hall was packed.

"Hi Harry!" everyone in the room chanted to him.

"H-hi everyone," He attempted a half-hearted wave.

The Hall beamed and went back to their food.

_Damn it all! _Harry thought, _this was his time to eat **without **being gawked at!_

He sat down between Ron and a flute playing Hermione. He could have sworn his ears were bleeding from Hermione's music so he turned to her and said as politely as he could, "Hermione! You obviously suck at that! Get the damn thing out of your mouth and shut the fuck up!"

Rather than bursting into tears as he had expected, and hoped, she calmly took the flute from her lips and smashed him over the head with it.

"Oww! What was that for?!"

She ignored his question, "I'm really rather fond of my musicality Harry, and I would prefer if you did not insult it." Then she calmly went back to butchering every song she knew.

He shook his head and turned to talk to Ron about how their friend was going insane only to see his best mate jump to his feet and run across the Great Hall with a weird look on his face.

His jaw dropped when he saw the boy pull none other than Pansy Parkinson into a massive bear hug. The Gryffindor scarf she was always wearing fell to the ground as the two got distracted by groping one another. Harry shook his head and shuddered as he went back to his food, this was just too weird.

He stood up and made his quickly from the room.

"Goodbye Harry!" Was chanted after him and he waved a hand over his shoulder.

As he was sprinting up the marble staircase he heard someone yell his name behind him, he knew that voice and he didn't particularly feel like talking to the owner of it but he had questions that needed answers. So he turned back around to see Draco Malfoy running up the steps behind him.

"Malfoy," He said, "What do you want?"

"I need to tell you something," The blonde looked away, suddenly nervous.

"Well I need to ask you something first, well two things really."

"Go hard."

Harry gave him a weirded out look before asking, "Do you know what the hell is going on with the rest of the school right now? Why am I suddenly so freaking desirable?! What is it that makes people so obsessed with me?!" He almost screamed.

"Other than the fact that you saved the world from the greatest Dark Lord of our times… how many times?" Said the blonde, slightly mocking.

"Well yes other than that, and it was seven times by the way."

Draco smirked at the embarrassed blush that was creeping up Harry's face now, "Well other than the saving the world factor, you have grown up quite nicely, you`re tall, have that untameable mass of gorgeous hair, the new wicked scar that reminds people of what you did, and makes you look bad ass, the fact that everyone knows that you have the biggest heart possible, plus you wear it right out there on your sleeve. The hero complex and your legendary temper that makes you go all broody and gorgeous every once and a while. Oh, and of course you are rocking some majour assege!" Draco paused to take a breath and thought for a moment, "Yep, I think that's all."

Harry just gawped at him his jaw practically on the floor.

Draco grinned again.

Harry finally got his thoughts back into some semblance of order and stammered out a question, "S-so people actually think that about me? The big heart, the broody gorgeousness, the… everything else you said?"

"Yep, plus I think Hogwarts is going crazy, the fan girls, and boys, and even Professor Snape! No idea what's happening there," Draco laughed.

Harry chuckled weakly, "So you said you had to tell me something?"

Draco stopped grinning and looked nervous again, "Uh, ya, um, well-"

"Spit it out already, I'm getting a tad bored of this," Harry said.

Draco shot him a half-hearted glare, took a deep breath and said, "I think I'm in love with you."

Harry gawped again, "Y-you what?"

"I think I'm in love with you, you twat!"

"I see…"

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Aren't you going to say something about it?"

"Um, well I didn't expect that, but… I think I am too."

Draco's turn to gape, "Wait… what?"

"I said I'm in love with you too, you prat," Harry answered.

"Git."

"Arse."

There was a pause that Draco broke with a quiet, tentative question, "Wait, so does this make you my boyfriend… or what?"

"Ya, ya I guess it does. So dragon, want to go find somewhere to snog?"

"Yes, indeed, I would like that. Wait, dragon?"

"Ya, never been called that before?"

"No, why would I have been?" Draco asked, genuinely confused.

"Well because Draco is Latin for dragon. Can't believe you didn't know," Harry said.

"Hmmm, that does make sense. But it's quite the term of affection and neither of my parents could say that to me, what with the Dark Lord and all."

"Ya I guess not… now if I remember correctly we were looking for somewhere to snog?"

"Indeed I believe we were," Draco said, his voice going husky.

Harry laughed and led the blond away to find a nice semi-secluded spot to snog him senseless. Life really had gone crazy in Hogwarts, but this was the best way it could.

_Article for the Daily Prophet March 3rd_

_Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in Uproar_

_The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry seem to have gone rather mad, some of the teachers included. It seems that one Harry Potter, saviour of the wizarding world, is being accosted regularly in the hallways of the school, and the teachers seem to be doing nothing about it. The poor boy has only just found, what he deems to be, true love in the Slytherin son of a Death Eater, Draco Malfoy._

_The two of them have been dating for a month now and seem to be quite in love, but the other students are not ready to relinquish their hero so soon. Draco has been bound and gagged on several occasions while members of all the houses tried to sway Harry to date them instead. Nothing seems to sway the boy and this reporter thinks that nothing will._

_I myself wish the two a long and prosperous life together._

_Many are researching what is happening at the school and suspect that something has been left in the water supplies, or that there has been an odd magical accident. More research is being done now. _

_Article by: Jennifer Grant_

_Article for the Daily Prophet March 5th_

_Journalist Attacked by Hogwarts Students_

_Daily Prophet Reporter Jennifer Grant was assaulted on a visit to Hogsmeade village where she was visiting her sick grandmother. It was a Hogsmeade weekend for the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She was recognized by several students as the Reporter that supported the Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy relationship. _

_What started out as a stern reprimand, from none other than Ginny Weasley, about keeping her thoughts to herself and spreading only word that Harry and Draco should separate, turned into an all out duel when Romilda Vane, another Hogwarts student, sent a hex at the Reporter. Several other students joined the duel some defending the Reporter but most attacking her for daring to suggest harry could date anyone but them. _

_Jennifer is currently recovering in St. Mungo`s from various spell induced injuries and will be under Ministry protection the moment she leaves the Hospital. Many of the students present were to be charged with assault but the investigation into the Hogwarts water supply has begun to yield results. All prosecution of the children is to wait until after the other investigation is fully resolved. _

_Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter have also been placed under protection to keep the other students of Hogwarts from harming either one of them. This Reporter wishes them the best of luck as well. _

_Article by: this Reporter wishes to remain anonymous for personal security reasons_

* * *

So how do you like? I went back and revised the whole thing and added the second article, hope you all enjoy.

I think you owe me a big review as well Alex!

Love,

DerangedxandxSarcastic


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